Grip the board in your left hand. It is probably called a board. The board has four wheels and those wheels should be aimed outwards. Growing up, I wasn’t allowed to hang out with skateboard kids because they might be bad. Channel this ‘bad’ attitude into the skateboard, or ‘board’.
Throw or drop the board (skateboard) onto the ground, away from you. The wheels need to land first and it will start moving. Chase it and jump on top. The top is the black part and it may remind you of sandpaper and it might hurt. This is on purpose, to hurt your skin often so the frequent and painful skateboarding accidents just become routine.
Now you are on top of the skating 'board'. Great job! Keep it up, but don’t get cocky. By the way, depending on which way your feet are facing, you might be ‘goofy’. Not sure which, but it sounds fun either way. Remember ‘A Goofy Movie’? Does it make you feel warm, happy childhood emotions? Run from these feelings. Think about cigarettes or tattoos instead.
Now, turn the 'board' left, then right. Do that really fast, back and forth. Now, jump it up. Jump it up in a cool arch shape. The arch should not be the shape of the Sydney Harbour Bridge. It should be more like the shape of the St. Louis Gateway Arch, high and narrow. Picture this arch as you jump it up.
Finally, there is a thing called grinding. This is when the skateboard hits a bannister or hand-rail, heading downwards. All you need to do is jump up (St. Louis!) and make contact. From the video it seemed like there were magnets and it just locks in. So, lock the edge of your 'board' into a hand-rail directly after you have jumped it up. Great!
Well, now you know all of the things I learned from watching a 3 minute skateboarding video once on Buzzfeed. Or maybe it was Facebook? Remember to jump up and down big stairways and over obstacles and have a friend follow you everywhere with a smartphone camera.
Knowledge is power!